So he popped the question. You should be happy I hear you say! Yes, yes I should be, only he popped it 2 years ago. 363 days after we became a couple, if we’re being precise.
Of course, I’m happy. I’m bloody well ecstatic; I mean in the time since he’s (I should introduce HE, Wayne, the love of my life and genuinely the funniest creature I’ve ever encountered) popped the question, we’ve had 1 baby, bought a new house, wrote off our car, had 3 job changes and 2 new cars have been attained. My point is, is that it feels like an age since we decided to tie the knot, and we’ve still a year to go..
Everytime I try and make a plan, I’m reminded “Oh it’s a year away Jenny, there’s loads of time to think about that” or “Oooh that’ll come round quickly” so I find myself in this strange land of limbo. This place is where I’m ecstatically excited, only to have someone quite literally pee all over me or a place where I’m crapping myself because I’m totally overwhelmed with the sheer scale of what we’ve to organise.
You see Wayne and I aren’t “organisers”. Sure we can organise a bbq or even a small scale party; but a full on adult, grown up do, chuff me, the pressure’s on. I mean Harry (our delightful little cherub), he’s 1. And he’s still not christened. Being Catholic, I’m full of guilt; what if something happens to him, will St Peter turn him away? Will he be banished to the depths of the fiery ways of Hell until Mummy arrives to keep him company for eternity? Wayne would tell me I’m being irrational, but I don’t think he gets being Catholic and what it entails, but anyway that’s another story.
So back to Harry’s christening. It’s less than 3 months away and although the priest and church has been booked, we’ve no caterer. Now I can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, I’m being dramatic (or maybe a bit panicky), but if I can’t organise this – a Christening, then it leads me back to my orignal quandry of HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO ORGANISE A WEDDING?
Do I allow myself to get carried away and become the Bridezilla that’s struggling to contain herself, or do I just chill the chuff out and panic a month before?
All I know is that time will tell. I am excited, I am honestly am; I’m just in limbo land.