Do you ever just wake up, get your shit together and think “Stop right there, I already don’t give a fuck”?  I do. All the time.  It’s not that I can’t empathise, really I can. I just can’t empathise with stuff that I find irrelevant.

Take Social Media for example, Facebook is the pits for this type of unnessary shit.  I can’t be doing with the shit that people post on there like “Oh has anyone got the number for blah blah cos I’m a lazy chuff who’d rather post on here than actually Google”. What is this shit I think? I’m literally screaming this in my head, rather worryingly, to myself. “Stop right there. I already don’t give a fuck” I think for the the first time that day.  I then flick to Instagram and see someone’s tea from last night. Instantly I’m raging. I mean why the fuck do I wanna see someone’s non existent salad that looks like a fart would blow it away, given the chance? No thanks, if I wanted to see one, I’d seek one out. I don’t wanna be faced with it on my Instagram and be reminded of my own fatness and reluctance to shed a few pounds, thank you very muchly. “Stop right there. I already don’t give a fuck” for the second time in less than 10 minutes.

So then just before I join reality, I flick to Twitter. And it’s at this point I feel like slashing my wrists with a butter knife. Some one liner about forgiving and forgetting flicks up. Really? Do you know the ins and outs of my life? No, I thought not. And with some of the shit I’ve been dealt with over various things, forgive and forget, I most certainly will not. By this point, my blood’s almost boiling and I’m not even out of bed – what the hell is that about? “Stop right there. I already don’t give a fuck” I think, or rather scream at myself.

And then you get to work. And the shit then really starts hitting the fan. I used to, until recently, work for a large bank. At one site I’d work at, there’d be this one woman who was in the process of leaving her husband (she’d been leaving him for 10 years) and so on my weekly visit, she’d insist on making me endure an update. “Stop right there. I already don’t give a fuck”.  Oh for fucks’ sake was always on the tip of my tongue, either pack your bag and be done with it or do us a favour; put up or shut up as you’re draining the niceness from me having to listen to this repetitive crap.  I never said anything as I know I’m the least tactful being ever, but the thought was always there.

Tomorrow I’m not going to review any of my social media and save myself the criminal thoughts and potential jail time after reviewing the crap that’s on there. I’ll no doubt be faced with another human being tomorrow though, and at least once during us conversing, I’ll think “Stop right there. I already don’t give a fuck”. I bet you.