Sometimes I think I’m a bit mental…
This is simply a fact. My problem is that I just can’t say no to not wanting more.
I’ve always been driven. Not competitive as I’m always the winner in my eyes, therefore there’s simply no need to compete, but driven (don’t get me wrong, I’m not smug when I declare I’m always the winner, it’s a matter of my opinion).
At 21, whilst most people were enjoying Graduate life being smashed 7 nights a week, I was nowhere to be found near bar during the week. Oh no, I was working. In fact, I was slogging my guts out. Working at a Banks HQ during the day trying to claw my way into was my first responsible job, of an evening you could find me working in a Chinese restaurant, waitressing on tables. So determined to purchase my first house, nothing was to stop me from achieving this by 25. In fact I’d achieved it by 22. Go me.
Expensive handbags, designer jewellery – if I wanted it, I worked for it. Simples. In fact, being so driven overtook my life and made me a bit mental for me. You see I can’t understand people who aren’t ambitious or driven to do more with their lives. Why anyone would want a crappy career when you’ve literally the world to play with, is quite simply a mind fuck to me.
My plan was to work abroad during my 30s; coin it in and plan to retire at a reasonable age. A series of unfortunate events led a differing path and for a long time, I lost my drive and ambition and grasp of my life plans
Recently I’ve ‘re-discovered’ my drive; having my little boy, Prince Harry rekindled that fire. I want the best for my boy (don’t confuse that with him turning into a brat, Christ no, I know one too many of those little fuckers and they’re despicable little human beings).
Having gone back to work full-time (my choice), I’ve chosen to try to give my little boy the best life has to offer. Harry just loves nursery and whilst I’d love to be home with him, it’s important for me that my little Prince has a strong role model and Mother in his life (the last thing i want him growing up seeing, is that Mummy is lazy – this is not an attack on stay at home Mums either, as I greatly admire them, I’m talking about those lazy ass women who want the world but won’t work for it). My employers are great; flexible working allows me to be Mummy for a large portion of the day and be independent too and provide for my son.
It’s with this return to work, that I’ve had a major career overhaul. Never one to just settle for any job, i always want more. More responsibility, more job satisfaction and more money (I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit this). Currently undertaking my NEBOSH in Construction Health and Safety and then straight after begin training in Audit and Quality, I genuinely can say I think I’m a bit mental. Mummy, fiancée, Full time worker bee and practically full-time student with the amount of work I have on, sometimes I think I’m a bit mental.
Sometimes I think I’m a bit mental taking all of this on, but then what’s the point in life if you’re not happy? You may think I’m greedy and a bit smug. You’d be far from wrong. I may be money driven but that’s so I can take my child to Disneyworld and sleep at night knowing that I’ve worked hard and paid for it and not relied on a parental handout like so many I know.
I sleep easy at night knowing I’m a good person, that I work hard and I’m independent and that I’m doing the best I can to be the best Mummy and role model my child could need… even if sometimes I think I’m a bit mental.
Maybe we’ll postpone baby number two a tiny, little bit longer on that last note!