“No Mummy, no.”

My heart has literally broken this weekend, for a number of differing reasons.

I should start by saying that this weekend, we enjoyed a family mini break to the East Coast of England; not the most beautiful part of the world, but with long, sandy beaches and the sea, what else could Harry, our darling 18 month old need?

Anyway, as I said, my heart has broken for a number of reasons. Firstly, our little man has gained a staggering amount of independence. From putting his own shoes on (or trying to as Vans aren’t the easiest to put on), to declaring ‘no’ to bedtime, Harry appears to have gained a level of independence that I find absolutely mind blowing to wee-wee’ing on the carpet and being acutely aware of his carpets and stomping his feet excitedly and then laughing in my face; I can’t escape the fact that my baby is growing up.

My heart has broken too because as much as I want to be in control, I’m acutely losing it. From Harry deciding what he’d like to wear “No, Mummy, no” when I offered a cute little checked shirt and jeans the other day to deciding he doesn’t fancy sitting in his car seat, Harry is a little ball of determined energy – determined to do what he wants to do, totally regardless of Mummy’s feelings.

“No, Mummy, no.” The fact of the matter is, that as each day passes, my little man is edging closer and closer to gaining his full independence. Yes he may only be 18 months old and yes, I may be being dramatic in my overly British manner, however, as his Mother this is my right.

Watching my little Harry striding confidently across the beach in his wellingtons, I was struck by a sense of utter panic. Desperately trying not to wrap him in cotton wool is something I fight everyday – even the break of his fall on to the sand didn’t soften the blow that my little darling is like a precious gem and remember that even the hardest of gems scratch.

All I can do is sit back, and literally watch. As much as I want to wrap him in cotton wool, this won’t do him or me any such favours and besides, my little man would fight me the whole way anyway, being the determined little chap he is! Sometimes, you want to stop the clock. Stop it and stay there in that very moment of time; this is definitely one of these moments. Whilst I’m excited for what the future holds, I want to savour every little moment with my little man and whilst he may declare “No, Mummy, no” as his Mummy, I’m saying “No, Harry, no, let’s just stop a moment….”

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