I know, I can’t believe it myself. I’m dieting before Christmas has even begun. No, I assure you, I’ve not been knocked about the head; I’ve simply realised that my wedding day is 6 months today.

I feel sick. I’m dizzy. I’m full of nerves. Not at the thought of marrying the love of my life and Father to my amazing son. No. No I’m sick at the thought of being packed into my wedding dress.

I’d just stuffed my fat face full of Sausage roll and baked beans courtesy of my fab colleague when it dawned on me. But before our wedding day, I’ve my hen do and there’s no way I’m going to the fat one when I’m surrounded by such creatures of beauty in the form of sisters, family and friends. Uh uh, it’s not happening.

With immediate effect, I’m stepping away from the carbs, the chocolate bars, the fizzy drinks. This is quite honestly the toughest challenge I face in my life right now.

If it kills me, i won’t be packed into that dress; my inner Miss Piggy can piss right off – my inner Gisele is bloody well screaming to get out, the least I can do is listen to her. Watch this space.

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